Vanilla Slice - Unorthodox Return to the Fairways

It was all set-up perfectly I pondered, as I looked thoughtfully out upon a suprisingly sun-baked February morning in preparation for the first competitive round since the turn of the decade. Wait, its February and I haven't played golf properly since the year just gone, wow, must be the weather or something. The weather conditions on this Sunday though, were a far-cry from the snow we were treading, and sledging on a mere month ago, although decidedly fresh, the sun offered some comfort as I munched on my bacon sandwich slowing contemplating how the round would go, what score I'd get, and how great it was to be English after the victory the day before. Yet, golf was the order of the day, and the clubs saw a clean, as did the treads, maybe it wouldn't be such a spectacularly poor round after a month out of the game we know and love.

As I slipped on my pristine UKKO garments, and admired each and every thread, I genuinely believed this could be a good start to my golfing year. I stepped out of the door with an air of expectancy about me and breathed in the cool air. Once at the club I realised that there were in fact a catalogue of unfortunate inconveniences surrounding my humble self that could be unfortunate set-backs. After the strains of football the day before I was supported by two gammy knees, a dodgy ankle, as well as a suspect hip, maybe the seemingly perfect scene before was stained by a body less efficient than John Daly before rehab although in fairness visits to the gym during the week to squeeze those extra yards out of the big-dog, and the aforementioned battle in the name of football did serve culprits for the situation.

Cue dramatic turn of events. After the regulation shanks, fats, thins, and many undescribale shots on the range, I found the iota of beauty every man (or woman) to ever don the plus-fours (not necessarily women here), the high draw. Bliss, perfection, any other superlatives you lovely people can muster up, amybe it would be OK, well I let the on-course game take care of that. After the standard pre-match pysche up routine of a chat with playing partners in banteresque scenes complaining, and appreciating sporting results of the day before, I found myself standing on the first tee.

A surprising start to the round started with the seldom seen combination of back to back birdies, before a visit the the timber on the 4th set me back slightly. I managed to get by the rest of the front nine to stay a stroke under the handicap. The back nine duly ensued and after stringing together pars, on the tee numbered 13 I hit a hook curvier than an 80's model into the cabbage, never to be seen again. I just about managed to complete the round unscathed further, and the post-game drink parched the lips on a content golfer, feeling all the swagger in the UKKO threads.

That brings me on to a bit of a tip for golfers one and all. Just because it's cold outside, it doesn't mean you fashionistas, both seasoned and fruitful have to cover up the beautiful garms with the heavy waterproofs and cumbersome jumpers. My advice to you lot would be layer under over the coming cold months, that way your golfing statement can still stand proud atop your torso. Make the investment in a baselayer, wear a thermal vest under that, then I recommend layer over the warmth with a UKKO White Polo and the Berry Longsleeve Cardigan. If that still isn't warm enough, because of the lower neck of the cardi, add the Indigo V-Neck, and defy the weather and maintain fairway style.

Written by UKKO Ambassador Tom Ayling

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